I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize