It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
