Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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