the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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