Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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