I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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