Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
