SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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