dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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