tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
