If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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