can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
