I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
