Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
