why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
