so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
