i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
