never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
