In the future we'll all be gay
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
