i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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