i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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