i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
