we have officially lost it.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
people are starting to question the shark bite story
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
