i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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