Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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