she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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