READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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