i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
