we're making bets on your personal life
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
