didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize