There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
