A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
soo... how was my night?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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