Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
