i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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