She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize