I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
