the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
