some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The struggles of a small town man whore
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
