Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
