distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
