This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize