i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Pooping to opera.
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