it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
