At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
