Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize