that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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