Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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