we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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