Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
