By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
