So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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