ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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