I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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