this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
