its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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