Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize