dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
