Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
