So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
