I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
