there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
