sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
