1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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