Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She bit a glass in half.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
