I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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