Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
