i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize