We're facebook friends in real life
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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