i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
