There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
